My 2019 Resolutions.

I’ve struggled with depression ever since I was a teenager, so I know some days are going to be hard, some days I’m just going to not want to wake up from bed, some days I will just want to be in bed and stay there forever.

But every year I find new determination, with which I tend to move forward into the new year. This year is no different.

  • Work out 3 times a week.

Everyone does this, everyone in the world wants to work out, everyone wants to loose weight, and yet this is the most common resolution that no one manages to get through. I’m officially a vegan now so eating right is not going to be that hard, especially because my closet’s friends are vegan as well. (I still eat eggs and milk). My body is stable, like I’m healthy, I’m not overweight, my body weight is right for my size, I just have a little belly fat. Because of my spine (I have scoliosis, don’t worry I got it fixed 5 years ago) fat tends to converge in my sides, especially my left side. I know I’m not going to reach 0% body fat, but if I reach 12 or 15 percent body fat in 2019, then I’ll be more than happy. Right now I have around 22% body fat. Working out 3 times a week is not going to be that hard, as 2018 is the year I slowly got up to that standard, I have weight’s at home and have to incorporate cardio into my routine. But since the gym I went to closed because of financial reasons, then I have to work out at home, 3 times a week seems healthy and reasonable. Besides getting out of the house is going to be good for me. I have several parks close to me that have bars in them, so I’ll be using those during the night hours. I need to work out, I need to get back into that routine, I need cardio, and I need weights.

  •   Record TV’s shows.

I’m still not sure how I’m going to be doing this, I already record and blog about the games I play, the films I watch, and now it’s time for TV shows. I’ll make a list here on my blog like the films I’ve watched. This is going to be fun, as now I’ll have a list of films and TV shows I’ve watched at the end of ’19.

  • Write the first draft of book, and search for a publishing house.

Right, so I’ve been developing this idea for quite a while now, in fact since October that is, but the main character has been with me since high school, put that’s just the lore. Nanowrimo ’18 was actually a win for me, as I wrote a little over 80 thousands words, I needed to do that, more out of necessity for myself, as I had to prove it to me that I could in fact write a novel, and I did. That novel is never seeking publication sadly, but the next one which I’m writing in January, and then getting beta readers at the end of it (they already lined up (bless them)), and probably by mid march i’ll start looking for publications and agent’s and all that. I can’t say more about it. I will say that it’s magic system is hard magic, very hard in fact, 20k words of lore in fact. Specific stuff, like how do they live, what do they do day to day, major cities, what type of food do they serve, I wrote recipes, and songs, and deathly beast’s, clans with bad people in them, races, of course they’re several races, the first novel details the beginning of the world, the mythos that guide our heroes, the public transportation systems, high alliances of the king, important places, and many more things. As of this writing it’s currently in V 0.1.6. I’m in love with it, it’s my baby. It’s the novel I’ve wanted to write ever since I knew I wanted to be a writer, I wanted to be other things in life as well, but my current situation in life doesn’t allow me to move cities, not without spending a lot of money.

I just can’t do that to my folks.

I know I want to write for hollywood someday, and makes films or games with the big guys, but those are dreams and aspirations, and right now I’m doing my best to further my career and establish myself with my work, and that’s where writing come’s in. I can be creative while telling a story’s, and throughout the years I fell in love with the idea of creating worlds, putting people in those worlds, and taking them through a journey. Telling story’s is my passion. Or well it became my passion. Currently book is planned as a Quadrology, that’s four books. I’ve let on more than I think any publication house would be happy with. So I’m just gonna stop myself there. I’m a little scared, because once the book is written, I’ll have to abandon it. As if my baby has gone of to collage.

  • 2099 will continue beyond S1.

Season 1 of 2099 is already written, but not recorded, don’t worry though, episode 1 will come out on time, and I’m giving myself enough time to write some episodes for Season 2. 2099 the podcast is a nice distraction from book, it’s not intended as anything else than that, it’s a fun distraction, but who knows one day it might just be something else. 😉

You can watch the trailer here.

And no it has nothing to do with Cyberpunk 2077, even though it is a cyberpunk story. I feel like I’m on a fine thread and I don’t want to get into any legal trouble. Please don’t sue me CD!!

Big sigh here, but that’s about it! Those are the things I want to do in 2019. Also I’m going to be getting a job somewhere in retail, as my animation career was a mistake because no one wants to hire me. But that’s after January. Maybe some funny stories will come out of that.

Thank you, and I hope you’re dreams and aspirations become true in 2019. Work hard and never give up, sending all my love and happy new year.

 

Turns out I was not the first to describe god as a glowing orb of white light

If you haven’t already, I wrote a short story back in 2017 about our dear friend lucifer and how he got cast out of heaven in an all out heavenly war. In that story I describe god as a big glowing orb of white light that you can’t see because you go blind as you get close to it. I thought I was being real clever, but turns out I’m not the first as I found out today. Watching summary’s on the Divine Comedy, and reading’s of Paradiso, told me exactly that, it’s representation of God is that of 3 rings that represent the father, the son and holy spirit. And like it’s not exactly the same but kinda the same.

You know what I mean, idea’s are not original, and you should just go with it. If you think you’re being clever think again, because you’re probably not as clever as you think.

Also I didn’t know anything about Paradiso before today, as I only read Inferno, which is the best in the trilogy, let’s all agree with that.

Whatever Dante was on drugs.

What I’ve learned from Nanowrimo ’18.

I DID IT!

As you can see from the screenshot, the word count at the bottom is 81,668. Kinda of a weird number. But I’ll go with it.

Nonetheless, I won Nanowrimo this year, yay! What do I win? Absolutely nothing, and that’s wonderful.

As for the future, right now I’m taking two days off two just recharge and play some video games watch a movie, or TV shows. And in December, I’ll be working on this other novel that I have planned, let’s call it book for now, and I’m planning on looking for traditional publishers for that one. It’s a middle grade series, so nothing to do with this one.

My Nanowrimo 2018 novel is called, In Vita Mea. It’s a latin phrase which roughly translates to kill or be killed, I don’t know if it really means that, I didn’t have enough time to do actual research, I read it somewhere, and said yeah it fits.

I’ll summarize the story, Danny a just legal (18) gay boy, he is living his normal life, one day he get’s a massive headache that transports him to a world where 99% of the population is gay, the other 1% get’s thrown into Sweden where they live a perfect life, he embodies his own body put in a different timeline, now Danny can get all the boy’s to come to his yard.

Terrible blurb, but I’ll go with it. The story is very adult, (3 sex scenes) but at one point it takes a right turn and suddenly the book touches topics of sexual abuse, ungratified partners, and a society that’s filled by an unclenching sex drive, that tears itself apart. And to be honest, that scares me, because I don’t even know if I’m a good enough writer to portray abuse with the sensibility it needs to not be glorified. I did research how to write about abuse but that’s about it. I feel like I don’t have such sensibility because I’ve never been the victim of abuse myself, but I have seen my best friends go through the aftermath of it. So I guess that’s what I tried to do here as well. The scene where Danny get’s physically assaulted is not portrayed, it’s implied that it happened, but I don’t physically make you read about it, I make you read about the aftermath, which is what I know best.

Anyway, I think I’ll never look for a publisher for this because as I wrote it I was just going through the motions, I wasn’t actually enjoying writing it, especially because I was constantly comparing it to book, which has over 20k words of just pure lore. So yeah, I don’t know compared to the other things I’m working on right now, this fails in comparison.

It’s a contemporary, and I’ve never been a big contemporary reader, I see the appeal, but why go into fiction to read about normal people, I would rather escape into another world, but that’s just me. Some people use contemporary novels as a away to cope between worlds, and that’s totally okay. We all have different views and opinions and that’s what makes our world rich. We just need to learn to listen to each other in a way that’s actually good. Not just wait for our turn to speak.

But that’s just me

Here are some things I’ve learned.

  • You’re outline is shit.

That’s right, you wrote an outline, and you’re way deep into act II and suddenly you realize, that Act III of your outline is now Act II, how did this happen? Well this happened to me, halfway through the book I’ve realized that I didn’t write enough on my outline. And I needed to write more, which I did. I had to revise my outline, and that was the worst. Going back to it in the middle of the book, is probably not a good idea.

  • Check yo tense

That’s right, are you writing in past or present tense, future tense? How would that even work. Anyway, it’s just as simple as checking your said he said, he says. See it’s easy.

  • Writing every day 2500 words is exhausting.

You know you better fricking love the characters and the world if you’re writing that many words about them every day. My goal in life is to someday reach 5k words a day, but maybe it’s because I’m an overachiever. I got close to that number in the final days of Nanowrimo, topping 4k words on the 28th, and almost 4.5k on the 29th. I really wanted to finish and have the rest of the 29th and 30th all for me. I was tired of this word and this character’s, I just wanted to finish.

  • I don’t love this book.

Sadly I don’t, I thought it would be a good fit for my Nanowrimo because I’ve been writing gay erotica for like, ever since I was 13, and been posting it online, people gave me good feedback, so I thought If I was going to write a book, I might as well be about gay people. In my frenzy to find an idea, I put the isekai trope on its head? (Not sure about that part) Who am I kidding, I just made it yaoi.

  • Made me appreciate book more

Book is the book I’m excited about, I’ve finally mustered up the courage to write it, and basically I’ve had the protagonist of the book with me ever since I was in high school, (almost 11 years now) so you know I absolutely adore him. In case you’re wondering no, book is not about gay people, in fact the romance it has, is primarily straight. (it’s middle grade) I do plan to talk about unrequited gay love, and I am an expert on unrequited love, so you might want to check that out someday. I’m worried about the reception that it might have, but my main cast is already really diverse, (POC, Deaf characters) and I’ve made some preparations in the lore so that it makes sense when this gay character is introduced. I’ve written some scenes for book, test scenes that is, and as I write them and then read them, like this weird smile comes on my face, because for the first time I can see them, I can see them in my head, and I feel like they are real people. I might just start crying as I type this, but I do feel like that. To me my cast of book is real.

  • Never gonna publish this.

Sorry to tell you, but In Vita Mea is never, ever, going to see the light of day. I mean of course unless I get someone to give me their opinion on the sensibilities of abuse in this book, otherwise, no you’re never going to read it. NEVER!

  • This shit was stressful.

It really was, I even got a grey hair on my beard. Maybe I’m just old.

All right, from me, that’s it. I hope you have a wonderful day, thanks for reading my blog post! 🙂

-remember that you’re lovely because you are.

Big Plans for 2019

Hi, it’s been a minute but this year I’ve been recording movies all the media I’ve consumed and over on my video game blog, I’ve been recording every video game that I play this year

Not as many as compared to last year, but you know that’s how it is.

I like to do this because it generates a list of things and at the end of the year I can go and watch it because it’s fun to do that.

What I’m saying is that 2019 is also the year of making a list not only about movies but tv shows and video games and anime that I consume in said year.

Tv shows will live here in a new separate post from the movies one. I will continue to rate in an A B C manner and continue to consume with every passing year.

We have now come full circle as of 2019, I will record everything I consume and maybe talk about on my blog.

That’s all I wanted to say, hope you have a nice day.

Films I’ve watched in 2018

Hi everyone! So this year I’m starting a new thing on this blog. Last year was all about the games I’ve played in ’17. This year I’m adding another list, the movies I’ve watched in 2018. I will also try to write about them as that seems like a good thing to do. I will try to watch as many possible movies as I can this year.A B C D or F

Edit – Now the Films are arranged from best to worst in the manner that I scored them.

2018: 67

The Shape of The Water (A)
The Greatest Showman (A)
Ready Player One (A) x2
A Quiet Place (A)
Game Night (A)
Isle Of Dogs (A)
Deadpool 2 (A)
Lu Over The Garden Wall (A)
Blade Runner 2049 (A)
The Incredibles ii (A) x2
Fury (A)
Hereditary (A)
Midnight Cowboy (1969) (A)
Bohemian Rhapsody (A)
Mission Impossible: Fallout (A)
My Hero Academia: Two Heroes (A)
Zootopia (A)
Bird Box (A)
A Bad Mom’s Christmas (B)
Pitch Perfect 3 (B)
Call Me By Your Name (B)
Mary and The Witch’s Flower (B)
Han Solo: A Star Wars Story (B)
I Feel Pretty (B)
Gerald’s Game (B)
Annihilation (B)
How To Talk To Girls At Parties (B)
The Endless (B)
Hotel Transylvania 3 (B)
Google And The World Brain (B)
Grease (1978) (B)
Oceans 8 (2018) (B)
Jumanji (2017) (B)
The Conjuring (B)
Inferno (B)
The Conjuring 2 (B)
The Princess Diaries (B)
Next Gen x2 (B)
Bleach (Netflix) (B)
Venom (B) x3
Wifi Ralph (B)
The Night Before (B)
Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (B)
Molly’s Game (C)
The Cloverfield Paradox (C)
Tomb Raider (C)
Pi (1998) (C)
Avengers: Infinity War (C)
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (C)
Tau (C)
Skyscraper (C)
Eureka Seven: Hi Evolution (C)
Extinction (2018) (C)
Life of the Party (2018) (C)
Sing (C)
The Nun (C)
Fantastic Beasts 2: The Crimes of Grindewall. (C)
Aquaman (C)
A Simple Favor (C)
The Disaster Artist (D)
Downsizing (D)
El Habitante [The Inhabitant] (D)
The Amityville Horror (D)
Boo 2! A Madea Halloween (F)
The First Purge (F)
Our House (2018) (F)
Slender Man (F)

 

 

Still Born Snippet

As soon as the monster knew it was going to die, it parted it stomach in two half’s, opening it up through the middle, forging it’s claws inside it’s own skin, and taking out the unborn child inside. The mother then soon died, leaving the child to fend for itself, the stillborn, looked at the mother, and throughly proceeded to eat the raw corpse of flesh that had brought him into this world. Truly the act of a god reborn into the human world.

(Stillborn)