And that’s okay.
A month ago I applied to the Author Mentor Match Program, it’s a program that joints you with a real life author, and it’s great. Yet sadly as I wrote the book this year, and now I’m in the process of corrections and revising and all of that. The draft I sent will not be representative of the final work, someone will have to read it, and think it’s just okay.
And well I got a little sad because of it, but I’m moving on, I have to. The first draft already has been read by one of my closest’s friends, (The first beta reader, *screams in spanish*) and she really like it, she connected to the mc’s, and the world was to her liking. So I got mostly good positive feedback, some feedback that slapped me in the face was also included but you know, it’s part of the process. Non the less, some plot wholes were in there, and thankfully now I just have to fix them. Also I’m giving character’s who were mostly passive, have a more active role in the story.
So I think I might not get in, twitter informed me that some author’s have already sent out for a complete draft, while other’s are still reading. Yeah…
I haven’t gotten any emails or anything just yet, so I’m starting to loose hope.
It’s fine, the book still needs to have some revision’s done, so I get it if they want to give that spot to someone else.
I have a little bit of time before I start aggressively sending query letters to agent’s so it’s fine, it’s fine. Nothing has changed my plan still goes on.
I was thinking how mediocre I am because I went out with some friends and we started talking about jobs and what not, and how I’m already out of collage, and how some people in my community are starting to get prizes, recognitions for their achievements. Something that I have yet to do.
A close friend, who I consider family gave her first symposium, I only found out because she put it up on Facebook and IG. Meanwhile another friend got a prize from the ITSEM organization. Which is a university, for her achievement’s in social justice.
Meanwhile I’m stuck in a rut, with no where to go, and no crushed dreams. Things like this really put me down. Because I feel like a failure to my parent’s, people tell me to relax, that I will be fine, that I shouldn’t worry so much, but it’s hard, I have no brother’s or sisters, so when I’m left alone, when my parent’s are gone, who will take care of me, the world doesn’t care about your loneliness.
Oh god, this post turned into a real bummer, I’m sorry. I was trying to be positive, but now I’m not so sure I can.